I'd written down my goal for yesterday's Torq 3:6:9. Not a finishing position, I'd simply jotted down "Feel racey". Rather brilliantly, after a frenetic final lap and sprint to the line that's exactly how I did feel.
It has been a difficult road over the last 6 months since I was found collapsed on the stairs at home. At times I've done almost no riding and certainly no structured training. A previous attempted return to racing was too early and did more harm than good. May 5th had become my new target date.
Any other year the old diesel powered, long distance trucking Ben would have been signed up for the 9 or certainly 6 hour race. Given where my health is this year it was the 3 hour race I lined up for. It felt like a cop out but I also knew it meant I'd need something I've rarely ever had - speed!!
I don't feel fit so I knew every other part of my day needed to go to perfectly plan. Amazingly it did! I arrived on time (for once) and completed a full, stress free, practice lap, which included a couple of warm up efforts. I got to the start in time to find a position near the front of the grid. I stayed to the side and kept out of trouble at the start, burning some matches by sprinting hard to maintain a good position in the pack so I didn't get held up at any of the first lap bottle necks.
As we coasted through some single track on the first lap, I knew it had gone well. Now it was all about how long I could hang on to my position! Slowly but surely riders slipped past and I'd valiantly hang on for a bit before slowly losing the wheel. It was fun but I was digging deep.
It was a 6.5 mile lap so, I'd calculated I'd need sub 36 minute laps if I was to complete 5 laps. This is what I guessed the leaders would do. My first lap was 34.53 and my next 34.56. Could I hold the pace for nearly 2 more hours? I'd had a good start but I'd pushed hard and my pace would surely drop.
The course had a punchy first half with some leg sapping climbs, then a fantastic flowing and fast end to the lap. I was having fun attacking the inclines (normally my strength) and leaning the bike through the fast curves (where I often struggle).
My next lap was a 35.58 almost dead on the 36 minute target, meaning I had 2 minutes in hand. However the legs were hurting and my pace was slowing as it surely had too. I also needed a stop for a bottle, gel and banana to get me through the final two laps.
Including the stop lap 4 was 37min
As I began my 5th lap I knew it was going to be extremly tight for time. I pushed manically when I could, and was out of the saddle emptying every muscle in my body to drag myself up the climbs. I silently cursed each back marker I caught, even if they only cost me a second or two before letting me past.
Into the final singletrack I looked down and I had a minute to make it to the line. I was never going to make it, but I wasn't giving up yet. The rider infront of me sat up, he'd given up, but I hammered past him onto the final arrow straight gravel road to the the finish banner. I locked out the suspension put my head down and sprinted with every screaming sinew of my body!
Once I'd got my breath back I walked round to the timing screen. There I was, listed in 9th place, but my finishing time was 3 hours 23 seconds. Arrrgh!
My final lap didn't count and that dropped me to 11th. Normally I'd be disappointed and I am a bit, but it was far more important today that I had been able to push myself to the limit and enjoyed every single bit of the process. It was great to be back!
