It's 3 months since my last blog on this site. The long break wasn't intentional. A few days after my failed South Down Double attempt I had an accident while cycling home from work. I have no memory of the incident so can't tell you much other than I was found unconcious by a road worker amongst the traffic cones at the side of the A27, three and a half hours after I should have been home for dinner. It may have been a hit and run, but as the police said 99% of people are law abiding and would stop if they thought they'd hit a cyclist. Perhaps more likely then was an accidental swipe from a close passing lorry. In the end I was lucky. Other than some broken/floating ribs and some very juicey road rash I wasn't too badly injured. My ribs took about 10 weeks before feeling normal and even now I still brace if reaching for something high on a shelf or sneezing! It is the head injury that although totally invisible has effected me the most. I guess being knocked unconcious for three hours is likely to have side effects! Initially I didn't really feel myself, words seemed to come to me glacially slowly like I was trying to grab them through a haze.
Despite this, as is normal for me after an accident, I was quickly back on the bike in only a couple of weeks. The fitness I'd built up in preparation for the summer challenges was still with me. However, my ribs meant it was impossible to make any big efforts as getting out of breath was extemely uncomfortable. I wasn't at all confident on the bike either, feeling distinctly wobbly on two wheels especially at speed. Persumably a result of the concussion. The most unusual thing for me however was the lack of drive to get out on the bike at all. It was almost as if I had fallen out of love with cycling. Mentally I guess riding had given me two big smacks in the chops in quick sussession, my failed South Downs Double and then the accident.
As the weeks trickled past when I did occasionally get out on the bike I could feel my fitness was seeping away, draining from my legs with every passing day. The worst symptom though was my total lack of motivation. For the first time in my life I questioned if I even wanted to put the effort in to my recovery and bother riding "properly" again.
As races I'd planned to enter, like Brighton Big Dog passed by my motivation dipped further. When I did go out for a ride even that was depressing. I was painfully slow. It really hit me one sunny evening after work when I rode a simple 10 mile flat route I use all the time. Normally it would just be a fun quick spin around the block, but I actually found it quite hard work! I wasn't able to maintain an average speed even close to what I would normally have expected to easily achieve.
To give myself a goal and try to inspire some purpose, I wrote 4 events on the family calendar in the kitchen. A XC race in November and my favourite Brass Monkeys Series in December through to January. I'm not expecting big things by then, my fitness will still very much be work in progress, but just having a focus may have been what my head needed.
Only last weekend did I finally get out on the bike, tick some boxes and feel like I was getting back on track. For the first time since the accident I achieved what once were the simple minimums of a weekend ride; 3 hours, 1000m of altitude gain and 50 miles. Once standard stuff but it gave me a sense of a new beginning.
